Random things
First - I really wish I understood why half the time I feel as if I don't fit in. If I try to loosen up and just relax, it always seems like someone gets irked at me for trying to do it, or I apparently am doing it wrong. Meh.

It'd be nice to have people joke around with me the way they joke with others.

~~~

Second - An open letter to Michael Bay (Might have a spoiler or two for movie 2) :)

Dear Michael Bay:

Stop raping my childhood, one Autobot at a time. Stop it. Your first movie was passable, even if you managed to make Bumblebee more annoying than he originally was. I was okay with you killing off Jazz because it worked.
However...

The second movie? NOTHING can forgive you for the huge steaming pile that it was. Did you even look at Wikipedia or the tons of fansites out there for the genre? Did you? Because it didn't seem like you did.

Let me let you in on a few things:
1) SKIDS was an actual transformer from the original series. Not good with people, but highly intelligent. Where does that translate into illiterate and jive speaking gangsta wanna be? I won't get into the racism issue because that's in the eye of the beholder.

2) The plot - What. The. Fuck? I am not a published writer and could come up with a plot that made more sense and cuts out 90% of your plot holes by adding a SINGLE character with a SINGLE use. I mean, for fuck's sake, did you even BOTHER to check to make sure your plot made sense? Cause dude, it don't. AT all. Let's not get into the slut-o-bot.

3) Megan Fox - Yes, guys like to look at her. That doesn't make her a good actress (she's not) and her character is the most inane, makes-no-sense mechanic EVER. I spent time in auto shop in high school. First off, any mechanic with a brain would wear overalls/a cover/crappy clothing to stop splatters and leaks. Again, forgiven in the first movie because the movie was actually decent. However ..not in the second. If you wanted her to be a car model, call her that. Secondly, mechanics tend to wear gloves when working with cars. Not all the time, but .....Third, she's the best mechanic EVAR AND A proficient medic? And able to pull a cast out of her ass? Swwweeet. /eyeroll. Please be making the female lead believable?

4) Time Travel? TIME. Fucking. Travel? What? No. No. No. Stop that. Jetfire can ya know, FLY. Asshat. And Transformer heaven...*gag*

5) Okay, seriously? Watch the fucking cartoon sometime. Watch the damn MOVIE. Read one of the comics. Most of the reason the Transformers were so popular is the interaction between them, and the snark between the autobots and decepticons. For 80s cartoon/movie/comics, it was quite the insult fest between the groups. That would have been so much better than the stupid child humor you put into the flick itself.

Here's some examples from ones I recall offhand, and ones from a quote site to remind me.

"Look! Two more Transformers to add to our collection!"
-- Starscream,

"I'm tired of suckin' their vapor trail!" -
Ironhide

Rumble: "Don't you Auto-bozos know, hanging out in Central Park..."
Frenzy: "Can be hazardous..."
Soundwave: "...to your health?"

"Well, look! Commander Modesty's here!"

"We've come to trade insults, not talk business!" - I THINK this was Blurr or Hot Rod

"Why did Galvatron have you attack Cybertron all by yourself? Are you
obedient or just stupid?" - Rodimus Prime

Scourge: "Have I got the wrong idea, or are these guys a bunch of wimps?"
Cyclonus: "Yes, they appear to be... wimps."


"Uhh...You WRONG. And you UGLY, too!"
-- Grimlock to Megatron
(Basically, "Your mom!" for the 80s cartoon)

"Keep San Francisco clean... leave!"
-- Tracks

Megatron: "You don't frighten me, you mechanical throwbacks!"
Grimlock: "Good, Megatron. We LOVE stupid enemies!"


Sweep X: "There seems to be something wrong with Cyclonus's voice."
Sweep Y: "Yes, he sounds like Starscream!"
Scourge: "No need to be insulting."
Starscream: "...You will suffer for that!"

"If I want to know what's on your mind, I'll splatter it on the wall and see for myself!"
-- Blitzwing,

"In a real fight, we'd've creamed 'em!... mm, maybe." - Bluestreak

"I don't suppose I could interest you in a magazine subscription?"
-- Brawn

Op Prime: "Who says plants aren't intellegent? The Morphobots are repelled by Blaster's music!"
Huffer: "Yeah, just like the rest of us."

Blaster: "We're outgunned, man! We don't have a chance!"
Kup: "Boy, that's what makes life interesting!"
Rodimus: "Or OVER!"

Jazz: "We'll rescue Cosmos, then come back for ya! Just don't move."
Omega Supreme [out of energy and immobile]: "Sarcasm not appreciated."

Sparkplug: "Remember: first, drain evil; second, recharge good."
Jazz: "Let's hope it don't end up with third, bury Jazz!"

Skyfire (aka Jetfire) - Let's annihilate these clowns!

Let's not forget the snark between humans and cars:
"First time in my life I try to steal a car, and I get one with a big mouth."

"Hey, I'm not in the mood to be lectured by a car, OK?"



See? There can be interaction between the 'bots that doesn't rely on singing 80s tunes to speak. Or humping a female character's leg. Or any of the other inane things.

In fact, here - read this. faecat originally posted this link, and it explains everything that's wrong with the movie including some of what I've already addressed above. There's so much more I could say here, but I'll just let that article speak for me.

So is there a way to please have you not do a damn thing with Transformers 3; and maybe get someone who knows the genre to deal with the exploding robots and war between good and evil and such? K-thanks.